In being only an incidental character in the electronic crowd, I hung round the media sites today and found myself growing ever more confused.
I've been in this world for over half a century, that gives me some back history to dredge up from direct memory.
Its harder and harsher every time.
and I thought there could not be an, everytime, in my life.
I thought far better minds than mine would have solved this, all of it, the violence the hate, we'd no longer have it.
but we do.
At times like this I wish I came from a family that were more to each other than just strangers who were forced to share a house.
but my wishes are small compared to those who have lost what i never knew.
And the Electronic crowd, part fearful mob, part reason and calm, part vitriol, its easy in the midst of that to trip up and then become the focus of a surge of anger, all too easy.
Leaving it entirely throws me back to a small life of mediocrity, I'm not complaining of its smallness, just it feels strange too.
I can not un-know what I now do, yet what do I know? me of all people.
I don't know what it means, in any shape or form, and yet it does mean something.
Something big happened,and here I am trying to ignore the sense of proportion whilst washing up dishes, and pulling socks off the laundry line, while cursing myself for thinking about it,
I need to stop I tell myself, no one is looking to me to provide any answers,
and its just as well because for the life of me I have none.
Then I think about it, and wonder, Why? and what is the solution to get it to stop?